Bringing Up A Girl Child Indeed Is Delicate

I was in one of my many favourite places a few days ago, and that's the salon! Lol. Some of my other favourite places are, my room, the mall, my room, the red carpet, my room, the cinema, my room, the spotlight, my room, His heart... Etc. Hahahahahaha.

So, where was I? Yea, I was in the salon getting all glammed up when this young lady entered with two crates of eggs on her head. She came to sell some eggs to the women in the salon, and we were all listening to a woman crack jokes when she came in, so this woman transferred her jokes to this young lady selling eggs. She took one of the eggs and told the lady to lie down so she could insert the egg into her private part and tell if she's still a virgin or not.

Whaaaaaaattttt? Yea, that was my reaction at first. I looked at my cousin who was with me and told her these women are crazy! These women looked at me and asked why I was so surprised. The lady selling eggs then began to narrate her story on how her aunt used to use eggs, big and small, to tell if she's been having sex or not. According to this young lady, if the egg went in freely, "kasala don burst be that!" The other women agreed with her that it happens.

So I spoke up and told them that's insane! Hear me, bringing up a girl child is very delicate. A parent or guardian should be a friend to her girl child and not scare the life out of her! What do you think would happen if you began using eggs to test your child? She'd slowly retreat into her shell daily, and with time, she wouldn't be able to confide in you the parent or guardian again.

I never used to be close with my mom. It was so bad that even when I had my first monthly flow in boarding school, it was my dad I called first. Each time my mom saw me talking with the opposite sex, (and I can hang out with guys eh...) she scolded me. Instead of me to seek for advise from my own mom as a young girl growing up, I rather turned to my friends. Believe me, I got all the advise I thought I needed. Every friend with his or her own advise.

Who ended up getting pregnant at age 16? Queen Teiko! "Baddo of life!" Looooooool! Okay, it's funny now because I learned from my mistakes and became wiser. It wasn't this funny then. If I had confided in my mom so often, she'd have known who my friends were, who I had my first date with, who gave me my first kiss, and all that. She would have stopped me from making some bad decisions, most importantly, she would have been my best friend!

But you see, I was more afraid of my mom because she kept threatening about being friends with boys. Very unnecessary threats! Up until this moment, 98% of my friends are men and I'm very comfortable with that. My mom now even speaks with some of them. She didn't use eggs to test me, only time she tested me, it was too late.

Now let's talk about a mother or guardian who constantly uses eggs to test the loyalty of her female child. Chances are that at some point, your daughter will come home from school feeling excluded, targeted, or ostracized, maybe even scared. As a parent, that sad and sometimes frustrating moment can be an opportunity to talk with her, as long as you feel even a little bit prepared. Do not push her away.

Listen to her and ask questions. It’s important that your daughter feels like she can try to solve "problems" on her own terms, and also that she feels she can tell you if she is in over her head, and needs you to intervene on her behalf. Treat your relationship with your daughter as you would any other friendship. Don't tease your child about having a boyfriend.

Truth be told, at some point, your daughter would get to that stage where they feel attracted to the opposite sex. You'd notice because they'd take their time to iron their clothes, make their hair or cut it nicely, take extra time to look and smell good before going to school. Unless of course it's a boarding school, which isn't a bad idea either. Just learn to watch their behaviour around you when they're home.

Instead of checking your daughter's private part, train her to have a sense of belonging, a feeling of being valued and help with developing confidence. So when she goes out and says "NO!," it remains that way. Get to know about her interests and strengths.

She needs a source of information about the changes that puberty brings, and what’s going on physically and emotionally, and a way to experiment with different values, roles, identities and ideas. Getting along with people of the opposite sex in a positive way is very important too.

Teenage girls might be focused on their friends, but they still need your help and support to build and maintain positive and supportive friendships. Good parent-child relationships tend to lead to positive relationships with peers. So being warm and supportive, staying connected and actively listening to your child can help with the development of friendship skills.

You’ll also be better able to support your child if friendship problems come up. Being a good role model is important too. Parents who are keen on spending time with their own friends are more likely to have children with lots of healthy friendships. It’s also important for your daughter to see you looking out for your friends, and showing that good friendship is a two-way thing, and not about one taking advantage of the other.

Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." The word of God remains the best counsel! Use it!