Cheating Partners

Just this morning, someone came knocking on my gate with a very loud noise. I woke up and just remained still, refusing to move, I said to myself that whoever it was would eventually leave. Since it was just my son and I at home, I was wondering who the person came looking for. This person kept banging on the gate. Then I rolled my eyes and said to myself again, these badagry people have come again with their "bush" way of doing everything! Kilode gan? I finally got up, knowing full well that it couldn't be my aunt or cousin. In fact, my aunt teases me most times about not being a morning person. Besides, it was only 6:32am by the time I got up. Lol.

As the noise on my gate continued, I walked to my room door and unlocked it, went to the bathroom to do "number one" and washed my face, then I started walking towards the sitting room door, all in slow motion because I just wasn't ready for plenty talk. So, I opened the sitting room door, came out to the front corridor to open the burglar-proof while stylishly trying to see if the feet I was looking at under the gate would walk away.

No way! Another loud bang and I just started walking towards the gate. With boy shorts and singlet and my hair flying all over the place, I could care less! I peeped through the gate-hole and then saw this very pretty woman carrying a toddler. She said, "sister, good morning." I replied, "good morning." She continued, "abeg o, e get this woman wey I dey find..." and bla, bla, bla! Her description almost fit that of my mom's troublesome tenant. Remember the story I once told about her? Yes.

As this young woman continued, I told her to hold on while I opened the gate. I rolled my eyes and said to myself, Teiko, you need to grab a seat for this one. If you're a close friend or family member, you'd know I have plenty of attitudes. I wake up every morning rebooting those attitudes. My sister calls me a drama queen, I'm either making one sarcastic comment or the other or rolling my eyes or holding my tongue from saying something to someone who's getting on my nerves.

Most of the time, I'm laughing at someone, some joke or mimicking someone. I'm always aware of my surroundings, whether I'm on my phone or with friends or smiling, saying hello to someone. At the end of each day, I have stories to tell my family or close friends. I'm a handful! Today was no exception. I was all out! I knew I'd have plenty of gists to tell Nne Kamsi by the time I got to Isolo.

I didn't let this woman in, I simply stepped out and sat down in front of my mom's shops and then looked up to her to continue. She did. I then heaved a sigh of relief, not sure why though. Perhaps because for once, my mom's tenant wasn't making the headline news. Since she and her family travelled to their village, it's been so peaceful. This young woman said she caught whoever she was looking for with her husband last night. So she came to warn the person to stay away from her husband or else there'd be war.

With my hands under my chin, I asked her why she didn't fight the person last night. Abi? She replied, "eh... as I see the woman for my husband car, I come tell am make she come down, she no gree, two of us come fight for there... I wan come warn am again, if I no kill am, she go kill me... No be me go be the first woman wey go die because of man. Make she leave my husband alone..." Just then, one cute guy who's been crushing on me passed, headed to his workplace. I said to myself, this woman should not use her reggae to spoil my blues on this street o, before this guy would think I know who she's referring to.

The young woman continued, "Abi na me say make she no marry husband wey get money?... She make her choice, me sef make my choice, if she come talk say she no go let my family rest, I go deal with am... I know say na for this street she dey stay... I go stand for that junction wait for am... If she no pass this morning, she go pass for afternoon... Useless woman... My husband even save her name as boys quarters..."

This time, the woman opposite our compound, popularly known as "iya Kwara" came out and asked what the problem was. This pretty woman then described who she was looking for, that the woman has two kids. She then asked if there's any house around that has boys quarters. We told her we're very few on the street, but she could go down the street to ask from other compounds. Iya Kwara then laughed and said to this woman that she too should tell her husband to leave other people's wives alone.

Madam pretty continued, "no mind that my husband wey no dey shame, young girls full for outside, he no follow them, na person wife him dey f***... The thing wey pain me be say this woman wey dey follow my husband know me, me with am dey buy tomatoes for the same place... I go go stand for that junction wait for am... If she no pass this morning, she go pass for afternoon... "

She thanked us and walked away. I swept the house, did the dishes, freshened up, made breakfast for Richard and I, took him to my aunt's and was headed to the bus stop when I saw this woman at the junction where she said she'd be waiting. Seriously? Wow! She meant business!

I asked her, "madam, you still dey here?" She said, "yes o... if that woman dey deal with other women go free, she no go go free this time o... even if my husband pursue me commot for house today, anywhere I see that woman, I go still dey fight am! I go make sure say the whole Alaworo know wetin she dey do... Useless woman, na so she go dey wear cloth like churchie, for night na prostitute she be..."

I noticed she was also trying to call her maid to feed her first child, I guessed, and then come carry the toddler from her. I said to her, "hmmmnn... madam, well done o... Na go I dey so, good luck eh!" Hahahahahaha... I really don't know why I wished her good luck. I simply made a mental note to intercede for her and her family when I'm alone. It beats me how a woman would publicly harass another woman because of a cheating partner! I really don't care who's at fault, but two wrongs don't make a right.

The one true way a partner proves their love to you and respect for you is by staying faithful! It's here in Nigeria that women who are being emotionally abused continue to remain in the relationship. Well, divorce is also not an option after marriage, if you ask me. So what's the best way to handle a cheating partner?

If you're not married yet, dump him! Yes, get in shape, look great, develop yourself and keep it moving! Self development is the new cool! In fact, don't take him back when he comes crawling back to you. Okay, perhaps unless of course he proves he's a changed man. But hey, if he does it once, he'd do it again. Perhaps he just learnt to be smarter this time.

If you're married with or without kids, prayer is the only solution. Why stoop so low to create a scene in public? Hebrews 13:4 says, "Let marriage be held in honour among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." Let God handle his business. Ever heard of this popular saying? "Never sacrifice your class to get even with someone who has none. Let them have the gutter. You take the high road." Simple!

Don't sacrifice your peace trying to point out someone's true colours. Lack of character always reveals itself in the end. A cheating husband who has a virtuous woman as a wife would eventually realize his mistakes. It may take a while, but prayer changes situations. Submit to him, love and respect him still and never stop praying for him and your family. Anything is possible!